Operating as a Sister, Wife, and Mother


	Message Two: Operating as a Sister, Wife, and Mother The Creation of "Man" and the Building of Woman We have seen that man was made in the image and likeness of God. For man to be made in the likeness of God is for man to have the appearance of God outwardly. For man to be made in the image of God is for man to have the substance of God inwardly. God created a human spirit within man so that man could receive Him as life. God made man in this way for the fulfillment of His purpose. But such a goal was not intended for the male individually. In God's divine wisdom, God built for every man a woman, a counterpart, which makes this man complete and whole. For God to accomplish His eternal purpose, He needs the male and female together as one entity. According to the Bible, the woman is man's "helper." This implies an inequality between male and female. Within a family the man is the head and the woman is in subjection according to God's arrangement. However, this is not a matter of superiority or inferiority. The male and the female are one unit, and each has a function according to God's creation. When the female is first mentioned in the Bible she is mentioned as a part of man. When the Bible speaks of man's creation, it says, "And God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Gen. 1:27). So within the man created by God, there was the female. The male and the female are one unit, called "man." The Female Being Designed to Meet the Need of the Male in His Functioning When this unit called "man" operates, it is the male that operates most visibly. The female may not stand out, but she is there to meet the need of the male in his functioning. This is a great matter, and many do not understand it. A husband may feel that he has a good wife if she can cook, clean the house, manage the children, and do other practical things. But this concept is far too low, and these functions are secondary. A good wife is one who meets the need of her husband in his function and in his operation. Sisters, you should realize that your person, your intelligence, your disposition, your abilities, and even your weaknesses all contribute to one purpose: to meet the need of your husband in the best possible way. There is no need for you to be someone or something that you are not. Your design is perfect for you to be a help to your husband so that he and you together can carry out God's purpose. Who and what you are is exactly the best for your husband. This is truly a glorious realization. The sisters must see this vision. You were built specifically with your husband in view. You are who you are entirely for your husband's sake. If you are unable to cook, it means that your husband needs a wife who is unable to cook. If you are unable to balance the checkbook, it means that your husband needs a wife who is unable to balance the checkbook. You do not have bad qualities, and you do not have good qualities. There is no such thing as a good or bad quality. Every quality you have is according to your husband's need. The Need for the Spirit and the Word in Our Family Life We have also seen that this revelation is practically realized only through the washing of the water in the word (Eph. 5:26). We need the Spirit, and we need the word. When a marriage life is filled with the Spirit and the word, then that marriage can stand to fulfill God's desire. The husband's love for his wife and the wife's submission to her husband should not be demands that they place on each other. These virtues must come from the Spirit. We need the enjoyment of the Spirit and the word (both the constant word of the Bible and the instant word of the Lord's speaking) to maintain the sweetness of the married life. When a family is continuously washed by the water in the word, then that family will become a blessing to the church. The Three-fold Operation of the Sisters: As Sisters, Wives, and Mothers Now we come to the three-fold operation of the sisters. The sisters operate in three different capacities: as sisters, wives, and mothers. Of course, these operations are interrelated. In the Bible there are very few verses that explain how to be a good sister, a good wife, or a good mother. It seems that God unveils certain principles, and then leaves the working out of those principles to each sister. Many of you dear sisters would like to discover the formula which would assure you the pathway to being a proper sister, wife, and mother. But the Bible never gives formulas. It only supplies us principles, and each of us should look unto the Lord for how we should apply these principles in our lives. The Wives' Love for Their Husbands We know that the Bible admonishes the husbands to love their wives. Surprisingly, there are no verses in the Bible which command the wives to love their husbands. This is because there is a natural law within the female to love her husband. In principle, once a woman marries, her love will spontaneously rise up for her spouse. Seldom is there the need to admonish wives to love their husbands. This does not mean that a sister can just marry anyone, and that then she will love him regardless of who he is. Before marrying, a sister ought to have the proper feelings about the brother she will marry. But it is still part of God's creation that once a sister is married, her love will automatically rise up for her husband. On the other hand, because of today's culture, there may be some need to admonish wives to love their husbands. Historically, in the past, the wife's entire livelihood surrounded her husband. The husband would leave his home every day to go to work and support his household, and the wife in turn would focus her entire life on her husband and her family. So the Bible reminds the husbands to be centered on their wives and to show the proper love towards them. However, today, as more sisters have jobs or careers, they too need to be reminded about loving their husbands. Sisters, the center of your life should not be anything outside of your husband. Your husband must be the center of your life. The Sister as the Weaker Vessel 1 Peter 3:1 says, "In like manner, wives, be subject to your own husbands...." Then verse 7 says, "Husbands, in like manner dwell together with them [the wives] according to knowledge, as with the weaker, female vessel...." When we put these verses together, we will realize that although the wife should be in subjection to her husband, the husband must properly understand his wife's function. A good husband should never put things upon his wife that she cannot handle. He should not pressure her with things that she is unable to bear. Instead, he must realize that she is the weaker vessel. This is for him to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. According to 1 Peter, sisters are "weaker vessels." Although "weak" can mean "fragile," it also can mean being unable to use one's faculties properly. For example, when a sister gets upset, she often loses restraint on her emotions, while a man can usually control his emotions. A sister's mind is very apt to wander and dwell on thoughts which may have no value. A sister may be unable to resist certain temptations, such as shopping or enjoying holidays, because she lacks the will to resist. For the sister to be the weaker vessel can mean that her normal human faculties are not always working properly. On the other hand, being a "weaker vessel" can also mean that the mind, the emotion, and the will are too strong. When sisters are too strong, they actually become weak. A sister's mind may become very strong - strong to the point of stubbornness. A sister's emotion may become very strong - strong to the point of being irrational. A sister's will may become very strong - strong to the point of inflexibility. Sisters, you should realize that your "strength" may actually become your weakness. For this reason it is good to pray, "Lord, have mercy on me in my weakness." If you have this realization, then you will be protected. Because they are the weaker vessel, the wives should remain under the subjection of their husbands. Sisters are different from brothers, and so they need a covering. Often a sister genuinely feels, "How can I be subject to my husband? You don't know what he is like. He is just not that spiritual." But sisters, regardless of who your husband is, his vessel is stronger. His mind, emotion, and will have a greater capacity. Once you realize this, and accept your husband as your covering, you and your family will surely be blessed. This is God's ordination. This view is according to His creation in His economy. For the same reason, if a sister is unmarried, it is good for her to learn to submit to the eldership God has given to her local church. This way, even though she is unmarried, she can be covered as a weaker vessel. The Example of Naomi from the Book of Ruth Now we will come to the example of Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law. She is one of the greatest sisters in the Bible and one of the best examples of submission. Naomi was one who never gave up on the Lord. She remained steadfast, despite having a husband who was backslidden and who led her into much suffering and despair. According to the book of Ruth, Naomi followed her husband out of the land of Judah to go into the land of Moab. Because of her husband Naomi left the good land, together with her two sons. Then, her husband died. After her husband died, her two sons took wives from among the Moabites, one of whom was Ruth. Then both of the sons died. So now there remained Ruth and her two daughters-in-law. All of the males had died, and the three women were left alone. Undoubtedly they were in a state of distress and despair. Nevertheless, Naomi's heart was large. Because she had learned how to exercise as a wife before the Lord, she could also properly handle this situation. After she decided to return to the land of Judah, Naomi told her daughters-in-law, "May Jehovah deal kindly with you, just as you have dealt with the dead and with me" (Ruth 1:8). What kind of sister, after losing her husband and her sons, could make such a statement? After experiencing such a suffering, Naomi could still commend her two daughters-in-law to Jehovah for His kind dealing. There is a wonderful principle here. Naomi understood that she was a weaker vessel. She learned to be under her husband, even though he was a backsliding husband. Her husband did not fight for the Lord's kingdom. Instead, he left the good land. He was a failure. But Naomi still submitted to him. She took her position as a wife before the Lord by submitting to her husband. Naomi was committed to God's purpose even when her husband was not, yet she still submitted to him. Her view was very clear. Naomi was a simple sister, yet she lived according to a great principle. She had received a commitment from the Lord, which was her position as a wife, and she exercised herself accordingly. She was a wife to an unhealthy head, yet she was faithful to this commitment. Then perhaps after her husband died and left her in such a desolate condition, she would have had good reason to be rebellious towards God. Had she not been treated unfairly after all her faithfulness? But Naomi did not give up the Lord. She remained faithful and steadfast. Then eventually she gave God a way to continue the carrying out of His economy. She became such a blessing. Her daughter-in-law Ruth came with her into the good land. Ruth eventually married Boaz, and became an ancestor of Christ. Sisters, you must lay hold of that which has been unveiled to you. You must lay hold of your God-given portion and place in your marriage life and church life. If your husband is unspiritual, you should not be overly concerned. You are not here to have a spiritual husband, or even to be a "prevailing" sister. This principle is also true related to the eldership in your local church. If you have opinions about the eldership, you should realize that it is not your concern. The spirituality of your husband or the healthiness of the eldership are issues which are not your commitment. If you try to assume a responsibility or a place of leadership that is not yours to assume, you will only aggravate your situation. Instead, you should realize that you are a wonderful sister with a wonderful commitment from the Lord. Your commitment from the Lord is to be a wife to your husband and a sister in the church life. The Sisters' Virtue of Stability Rather than trying to be something which they cannot be, sisters should focus upon the virtues which they do possess and which can be a blessing to the church life. One of the greatest virtues of a sister is stability. Often in the church life brothers will say, "I am wholly for God's economy," and then in the next breath they will say, "I don't like it in this locality. I'm moving." They are short of stability. Sisters have this virtue of stability which the brothers find hard to possess. Sisters, if you would realize this and live accordingly, you will become a stabilizing element in the church life. Then even when the brothers become frustrated, you will not give up. Even when the brothers are defeated, you will not be defeated. You will become the factor of stability in the church life. There should be many sisters who operate as "Naomi's." When Naomi returned to Judah, she called herself "Mara," meaning "bitter" (Ruth 1:20). But even her bitter experiences did not stop her from remaining in her commitment from the Lord. In the worst situation, she refused to give up. She remained stable, and she carried on God's purpose. Brothers often have the experience of being prevailing for a while, but then losing their fervency. Sisters, however, are better able to endure. They can continue to pray when others have given up. A local church is healthy when there are a number of sisters who operate as "Naomi's." A "Naomi" does not have to be a prevailing sister. She may even have something bitter in her experience or environment. But a "Naomi" is one who is faithful to that which the Lord has committed to her. Such a sister is a blessing to the church, because she becomes a factor of stability in the local church life. Fellow Heirs of the Grace of Life 1 Peter 3:7 tells the husbands to "assign honor" to their wives as "fellow heirs of the grace of life." These two matters of subjection and being a fellow heir of the grace of life go together. On the one hand, a sister must learn to be in subjection to her husband. But on the other hand, a brother must learn to honor his wife because she is a fellow heir of the grace of life. The grace of life is received jointly by the husband and the wife as a couple. For a husband to enjoy the bountiful grace of life, he needs his wife. And for a sister to enjoy the bountiful grace of life, she needs to be in subjection to her husband. Sarah, the wife of Abraham, is a good example of a sister being a joint heir with her husband. Manoah, the father of Samson, is a good example of a husband being a joint heir with his wife. These two stories show us the joint participation in God's economy between a husband and a wife. The Example of Abraham and Sarah According to 1 Peter 3:6, "Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord." Sarah knew how to be subject to her husband, even when Abraham made mistakes. She took Abraham as her "lord." When Jehovah first appeared to Abraham and told him to depart from his land and kindred, he brought his father and nephew with him. Sarah probably knew that Abraham disobeyed God, but she went along with him anyway, remaining in subjection. Later, when Abraham tried to pass Sarah off as his sister, she went along with his scheme and said nothing (Gen. 12:9-20). Throughout their lives together, Sarah learned to take her husband's vision as her vision. Whatever God spoke to Abraham, she received it for herself. Eventually, she and Abraham together brought forth Isaac. Sarah and Abraham were joint participators in God's economy. The Example of Manoah and His Wife The story of Manoah and his wife, the father and mother of Samson, portrays how a sister should render to her husband all that she herself has received from the Lord. When the children of Israel were in a desolate condition, and Jehovah had delivered them into the hand of the Philistines for forty years, the Angel of Jehovah appeared to Manoah's wife. He told her that she would conceive and bear a son (Judg. 13:3-5). As soon as she received this revelation, she went to her husband to tell him. She had received something from the Lord, but she immediately took it to her husband. When she told Manoah about her experience, she was able to bring her husband into the presence of the Lord. Manoah offered the Angel of Jehovah some food. He refused, but told him to offer a burnt offering (v. 15-16). Then when Manoah and his wife offered up the offering to the Lord, the Angel of Jehovah went up in the flame (v. 20). At that moment, Manoah exposed his spiritual immaturity. He said, "We will surely die, for we have seen God" (v. 22). But his wife replied, "If Jehovah had been pleased to kill us, He would not have taken a burnt offering and a meal offering from our hand, not would He have shown us all these things or let us hear a thing like this at this time" (v. 23). Here we see the top exercise of subjection. Manoah's wife had much more spiritual discernment than Manoah himself, yet she did not give away any feeling of being spiritually superior. On the contrary, she went to her husband when the Angel of Jehovah first appeared. Then her husband did something so foolish in offering to have dinner with the Angel of Jehovah. And after the burnt offering, he became frightened, thinking God would kill them. Yet his wife did not rebuke him or despise him. She was so wise. She never exposed her husband. This woman realized that her husband was the object of her spiritual exercise. This story gives a high understanding of subjection. Subjection is not merely a matter of obedience. For a wife to be in subjection to her husband means that she knows her proper place. She knows the direction and scope of her spiritual discernment and exercise. She even knows how to help her husband without stepping out of her place. When a woman is in such a position, then whatever she has received from the Lord will be for her husband's benefit as a fellow heir of the grace of life. Being a Proper Mother It is hard to find teachings in the Bible concerning being a proper mother. For example, Ephesians 6:4 says, "And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger...." Here, the admonition for parenting is aimed at the father. Fathers should not provoke their children to anger. But there are no specific directions for the mother. Instead of giving us directions, the Bible offers living examples of how to be a proper mother. We will look at one such example, the mother of Moses (Exo. 2:1-10). As we know from this story, when Moses was a baby, his mother put him in a basket of reeds and sent him down the river to protect his life. Through God's divine arrangement, Moses was found by Pharaoh's daughter and taken up as her very own. But Moses' real mother was secured as a nurse to Moses until he was weaned. This meant that Moses spent the first few years of his life at the bosom of his Hebrew mother. This was not a small thing. These few years were crucial to Moses' entire life. How did Moses know that he was a Hebrew? How did he know about God's desire for the children of Israel? In those few early years, Moses' mother infused her little child with all of the things pertaining to God and His people. This story gives us a strong principle. Moses' mother was able to infuse her child with God's purpose. It was her labor in those early years that enabled Moses to eventually receive the commitment to lead God's people. We should realize that when children turn out well, it is largely due to the mother. The father is always in danger of provoking the children and stirring up their anger. But the mother is the one raising them up and nurturing them with the things of God. Moses learned something from his mother's person while he was very young. He must have received a strong impression from how his mother lived. Undoubtedly this affected him lifelong. We should not think that our children are too young to learn from us. The mothers should become a "seeable" Christ to their children. Sisters, the children cannot see the Lord, but they do see you and how you are before the Lord. Because they see you, you will become the greatest influence in their lives. Over time you can infuse them with truth and help them to know spiritual things, in the same way that Moses' mother helped Moses. This will prepare your children to love and serve the Lord. Conclusion Sisters, your operation in the church life as a sister, wife, and mother is truly precious. You have received a wonderful commitment from the Lord, and it is yours to uphold. As a sister, you can provide stability in the church life regardless of the outward situation. As a wife, you can be a spiritual helper to your husband and a fellow heir of the grace of life. And as a mother, you can be a blessing to your children by infusing them with the things of God. Your commitment before the Lord is truly marvelous. May the Lord have mercy on us by bringing us all into a healthy operation. To purchase the book Sisters' Messages