Questions and Answers (Detroit 88)


	Message Four: Questions and Answers Question: How should the single sisters function practically in the church life? What is the best way for a sister to love and serve the Lord before she gets married? Answer: We should be cautioned against seeking "ways" in the Lord's recovery, or taking any word too legally. For example, there is often a big difference between Brother Lee, the one who ministers, and us, who apply what he ministers. When Brother Lee ministers, he is in life, in spirit, and in truth. But in applying what he ministers, we often like it best when we can do things without Christ or the Spirit, as long as there is a satisfactory result. We like to have everything laid out for us as "step one," "step two," "step three," and so on. Spiritual things cannot be taken in this manner. Our legality in carrying out what we think is "the way" can frustrate or even damage the church. If we just look for a way that we can legally follow, then where is our spirit? Where is our interaction with the Lord? This may seem like a peculiar answer to the sister's question, but there is a principle involved here. We would like to find an answer when in fact there is no answer. We would like to hear, "Step one, a single sister should pray in the morning; step two, a single sister should pray concerning marriage; step three, she should pray that the Lord would lead a certain brother." It doesn't work in that way. However, we should realize that all marriages are out of God's governmental arrangement. There are no mistakes. This is why divorce among us is a serious matter. If a single sister is ready to marry, there is no need for her to pray about it too much. It is enough for her to just tell the Lord, "I love You." In due time, He will bring the right brother to her. We should learn to trust our lives to the Lord. There is a case of a sister who prayed that she would marry a certain brother because she thought she had the Lord's leading. Then that brother got married to someone else, but this sister still continued praying for him to be her husband. Isn't that praying for his wife's death, or for a divorce? Yet she felt that she had the Lord's leading. This is why we should be very simple and open before the Lord. He knows what is best for us. We should just love and enjoy Him, and trust that He will take care of us. How should a single sister serve the Lord? She should simply take the Lord and the Body as her covering. Don't look for specific answers. Again, there is no legal way. There are only general principles, which can apply differently to each case. Instead of doing things legally, we should do things according to life and the Spirit. As an example, we should all spend time in the Lord's presence. On one hand, the best time to do this is in the morning. However, if we make morning watch a legal matter and insist on it for everyone, then what about those who have a physical limitation which prevents them? Some may take medication which does not allow them to be so clear-minded in the morning. They may choose to spend the precious time with the Lord in the evening, and they will find that His presence is still there. We should be disciplined to ourselves, but we should not be legal. We should be very careful about legality. We will not be fruitful if we are too legal, because we will scare people away. We will make everything a law to them. Instead, we should be a living testimony of what we have enjoyed from the Lord. Instead of being under a law, we should be under a life supply. We should just love the Lord, and serve Him diligently according to life. Question: What should a sister do if she loves the Lord and is given to the church, but her husband has some limitation, or does not have the same desire? Answer: In experience, it seems that if a husband is strong for the Lord and for the church, but his wife is not, then eventually the husband will be frustrated and dragged down by his wife. But for some reason, if it is the wife who loves the Lord and the church, while the husband does not, the wife can still go on. There are numerous cases of sisters persevering in the church life and exercising healthily over many years, even though their husbands did not have the same desire. On the part of the sister, it is so important for her to realize the significance of the atmosphere in her home. It is the home environment, the home atmosphere, which sets the tone for the entire family life. The husband will not share the wife's interest in the Lord if she is overly zealous around him, or if she has been negligent towards him. Each environment that develops causes the husband to react. If you press your husband too far he will become irritated and closed. If you are negligent towards him, he will have no interest in you or your love for the Lord. But on the other hand, if you provide a home atmosphere in which your husband is continually witnessing something so high, something so human, yet so divine, then he will eventually be attracted to such a life. Your husband cannot get away from your influence, whether it is positive or negative. If your testimony is one of loving the Lord in simplicity, your husband will be gained. Don't think that you have to be so "spiritual," doing everything perfectly. Actually, when you make mistakes, it will cause your husband to feel that you are as human as he is. Yet he will also begin to recognize that you possess something different in your life. You have the Lord, you have the saints, you have the Bible, and he does not. This difference may be insignificant to him at first, but eventually it will become very manifest to him. He will realize that you have a joy that he does not have, and this will become attractive to him. There is no need to give your husband a sales pitch: "I am so happy in the Lord! How about you?" Instead, just love the Lord, love your husband, and wait for the proper time. When you provide such a warm, loving, accepting environment at home, eventually it will cause him to think about life and its meaning. He will gradually be attracted to the life that you live. At the proper and appropriate time, you can speak something to him. The Lord's timing is very important. Every person's life is filled with cycles of "up" and "down." When they are promoted, they are "up," and when they are fired, they are "down." When they are successful they are "up," and when they are defeated they are "down." When someone is "up," it is usually hard for him to receive something of the Lord. When someone is "down" he is usually more open to the Lord. It is good to keep this principle in mind with respect to your husband. When your husband is low, don't try to impose something on him, and don't blame him for some mistakes that led to his problem. Instead, be sympathetic, and suggest to him that you pray together. Read some verses together with him. At such a time, he will be open to you. As was said previously in this conference, the sisters should be restful, peaceful, and joyful. This is true even when your husband does not share your desire for the Lord and for the church life. There is no need for you to try to be so victorious outwardly. Instead, just be joyful. Then at the same time, watch and pray for your husband. Trust in the Lord that the environment you are providing in your home is affecting your husband and children. Trust in the Lord's operating, rather than in your striving. At the appropriate time, the Lord will be faithful to give you the opportunity to minister something positive to your husband. Learn to trust in the Lord in such a healthy way, while you provide a warm and loving atmosphere in your home that allows Him to operate. These principles also apply in your exercise towards your children. Don't try to force your children to do spiritual things. If you force them to pray or read the Bible, you may lose them. Instead, provide a loving, warm, and caring atmosphere in your home. Let them see how you live. Your enjoyment of the Lord will attract them. At the right time, you can ask your children to pray or read the Bible with you. It is okay if they say "no." You do not need to force them. Just love them, and remember that they are in the Lord's hands. They are also in the hands of faithful brothers and sisters. Be wise in your care for your children, and be watchful to render them help in the Lord's timing. Question: Why does it seem that often we care more about preaching the gospel or visiting new ones than we care about the saints in the church life? How should we care for one another? Answer: We should realize that spiritual things must be carried by spiritual men. No spiritual exercise has any value as a practice in itself. It must be carried out spiritually, in a way that is full of reality. For example, we know we must read the Bible. But many theological students read the Bible daily and get very little, if anything. The Bible cannot be handled by soulish, natural persons. The essence of reading the Word is the Spirit. It is a spiritual exercise. In the same way, to preach the gospel and to visit new ones is absolutely right, but it should not be done naturally. We will hurt ourselves when we try to carry out the spiritual things with the natural strength. If we are really in the spiritual essence of what Brother Lee has been unveiling to us, our care for one another will be strengthened. This is what we mean when we use the term "mutuality," which implies the adequate concern and care for all the members so that all the members may function according to their gift. Preaching the gospel, taking care of new ones, and the mutual care among the saints should all be interrelated. In preaching the gospel and taking care of new ones, we surely need the supply from all the members. Doing these things spiritually will bring in the real mutuality and companionship. This is why we should be careful about looking for methods and ways. Everything we do for the Lord must have the spiritual reality behind it. If you carry what you have seen in a healthy, spiritual way, be assured that your church life will become prevailing. The saints in the churches are all at different spiritual levels. Do not demand others to do what you do. Instead, learn to be faithful yourself. As you pioneer in your labor, be assured that others will follow. Just be faithful to practice what you see and realize. For example, if you spend two mornings a week with one sister to pray, and another two mornings with another sister to pray, eventually more sisters will get stirred up to practice this. Your faithfulness will stir up their faithfulness. Your example will become their pattern. Through your seemingly small labor you will begin to bear remaining fruit. If a few sisters labor like this in many avenues of spiritual exercise, their testimonies will have an effect on others. Then surely the Lord will have a way with us. This is to exercise spiritually, and this will bear fruit for the Lord's profit. To purchase the book Sisters' Messages