Question and Answer Session - Concerning Desires and Demands


	Message Three: Question and Answer Session - Concerning Desires and Demands Question: How can we keep our desires from becoming demands? Answer: A desire is something for which we have an expectation. A demand is something that we feel is absolutely necessary. For example, the Bible encourages us to consider the things that are proper and virtuous (Phil. 4:8). This means that we should always nurture the healthy desires. Our heart should be a nurturing place of these desires. The good desires and proper virtues are nurtured in our heart. But at the same time we must be careful. We should not make a big issue out of our desires. We must remember that we are fallen. We all are limited. Once we make our desires an issue, something that we must do, we will be brought under condemnation. For instance, suppose you desire to live out Christ. This is obviously very good, because the Bible says that "for me to live is Christ" (Phil. 1:21). But often when you desire to live out Christ, you find that you are living out Adam. You failed in carrying out your desire. When you fail, your response will show whether you are in the realm of desire or demand. If you are under a demand, you will be so bothered. You will be accused, depressed, and disappointed in yourself. You will feel that you have no way to go on. You may even tell the Lord, "It's your fault for not creating me right. And it's the church's fault for speaking things that are not real." However, if you are simply carrying out the desire in your heart, then when you fail, you will still be restful. You will realize that you just need to turn back to the Lord and rely on Him once more. It is because we are regenerated that we have healthy desires. If a person has never had a positive desire, this shows that he is unregenerated. If a person has never cared about the things of the Lord or of the church, or has never desired the things that are pure and virtuous, then he must be a Gentile. What is the problem with those who are unregenerated? They have no desire for anything that is virtuous or godly. They don't care about behaving improperly. When we became Christians, our conscience became sensitive and our mind began to be renewed. Because we have a renewed mind, we desire the things that are virtuous and godly. We desire to live out Christ. But we can never fulfill this desire by ourselves. Either we are in the Lord's presence, and so we live out Christ, or we are not in the Lord's presence, and so we live out the fallen Adamic nature. There is no middle ground. This is why if our desires become demands we will be under accusation all the time. If we have a proper desire, then we will realize that we need to constantly turn back to the Lord. Either we depend on the Lord and live out Christ, or we depend on Satan and live out the flesh. It is serious for Christians to make their desire a demand. Even the apostle Paul would not do this. Paul was very simple. "I desire to live out Christ. I forget what is behind, and I pursue what is before." We should always desire to be one with the Lord. At the same time we should realize who we really are. Because we are fallen, we should not put ourselves under a demand. Instead we should nurture the healthy desires in our heart, and learn to rely on the Lord Himself. Question: When we see so many needs among the saints in the church life, we can't help but desire to meet those needs. How do we respond to that desire without it becoming a demand? Answer: Your thought is, "Because I see a need, I try to meet that need. Then the meeting of that need becomes a demand." But what we see may not be what the Lord sees. All the needs that we see are only according to what we see. In the practical church life, we have to realize that the Lord is very high. His view of a situation is much higher than our view. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways, declares Jehovah. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts" (Isa. 55:8-9). For instance, we may wonder why a certain brother has to go through a difficult and frustrating situation. We may not realize that this is exactly what the Lord wants him to go through. The Lord sees things very clearly. He knows that without a frustrating situation this brother will never grow. In fact, the difficulties this brother is experiencing are actually the Lord's work. Our view may not be so high or spiritual. All we see is that the brother has certain needs. We have to realize that the Lord is watching the whole situation. He is the Lord over everything. We may see all of the needs and problems, but the Lord knows what He is trying to do. How should we cooperate with the Lord and exercise properly in these situations? The answer is not to say, "Since the Lord sees everything, I'll just forget about the whole situation and let Him handle it." When someone is in a difficult situation or has a certain need, we still have to learn how to be with them in that situation. For all of us who love the Lord, this is a hard lesson to learn. To be with someone in a situation and to correct the situation are two different things. What we must learn is to put ourselves into a situation and help the person grow out of that situation. No situation is hard to solve, but every situation is hard to grow out of. We do not need to be those who solve problems and give advice. We need to be those who put ourselves with other saints to help them grow out of their limitations and problems. Our attitude should be, "I will grow with this person. As I grow, they will grow. I will invest myself and labor for their growth. I won't try to change them. I will just grow with them." For instance, suppose there is a young sister who helps takes care of the service office. As she takes care of the service office, she messes up everything. Then suppose we decide to move her to a different service. We ask her not to take care of the service office anymore, but to be involved in cleaning the hall. This means that we have handled the situation and solved it very easily, but we have not really helped the sister. If a sister has a certain problem in one place, she will have the same problem in another place. This is why we should seldom move people, or try to change people, or try to solve a situation. Once a situation is there, it is simply there. We have to realize that a person who can't handle the service office also cannot handle the cleaning of the hall. A person who can't handle the cleaning of the hall also can't handle preaching the gospel. What such a person needs is not for us to solve her situation. She does not need to be handled as a problem. What she needs is someone to come into her situation and help her grow out of her limitations. She needs intimacy from some saints who are seeking the Lord's wisdom in helping her to grow. In that intimacy there can be fellowship, comforting, or even rebuking. When some saints have invested themselves with this sister, they can grow out of the problem together with her. This is the genuine service to the Lord. This kind of care is the care of a parent towards their child. For example, a son may come to his father and be upset because he doesn't have any friends at school. What would the father do? Would the father correct him and say, "Grow up! What do you mean you don't have any friends? Just go make a few!" Obviously if the father were to place such a demand on his son, it would never work. Instead, if a son comes to his father with such a need, surely the father would be tender and reassuring. The father might say, "Even if no one else is your friend, Dad is your friend. Don't worry. Just keep going back to school, and the Lord will give you friends." Then the father would purposely go to his son many times, give him a hug, and remind him, "Dad is your friend." He would ask his son once in a while, "Are you making friends at school?" Eventually his son will say, "Yes, now I have some friends!" Then the father can ask his who the friends are, and they will keep talking intimately. The whole atmosphere is one of love and support. When we take care of the saints, it should be the same. We must grow with them and not put demands on them. We should come alongside them and grow up with them. If they have a certain problem, we should grow with them out of that problem. The way to care for someone is to put yourself at their level. Even if you are much more mature than they are, you should put yourself with them and grow with them. This is actually a very healthy pattern. We don't need to be problem-solvers. We need to be those who can invest ourselves with the saints who have needs and grow with them until they overcome their problem or limitation. If we try to solve problems, more problems will keep appearing. When we solve one, another will appear, and when we solve that one, yet another will appear. Instead, we should learn to be with saints at their level and grow with them. When we see a situation that discourages us, then instead of trying to solve the problem and correct the situation, we should put ourselves in with the saints and grow with them until they are out of the situation. This kind of care will cause the churches to be built up. When we have more brothers and sisters who practice the church life in this way, then the churches will be prevailing. Instead, we are often just the opposite. We become like teachers and not like parents. We look around and see all the problems, and then we try to solve them. Instead of growing with the saints, we correct them. In the church life there are not enough brothers and sisters who are willing to lower themselves and come down from who they are, and put themselves with the needy saints and grow with them out of their problems. Sisters, when you see that there is something wrong with a situation involving another sister, don't make it an issue. It's better not even to talk about it. Instead, put yourself with the sister and step into her limitations. Then begin to grow up with her. Fellowship with her, pray with her, uplift her, and bring her out of her limitations. This is to have the genuine service. In the recovery we do not need brothers and sisters who tell people what's right and what's wrong. We need brothers and sisters who know how to step into other saints' situations and grow with them out of their limitations. To purchase the book Sisters' Messages