Message Two:
The Purpose and Source of the Woman's Existence

Introductory Word

This message contains a Biblical perspective that is very different from the teachings of the world. Dear sisters, please take all of these words with grace. Try not to be discouraged or troubled if the realizations described in this message conflict with your upbringing, your education, or your cultural background. There may even be times when your mind does not agree with the Biblical understanding of the purpose and source of a woman's existence. However, you will find that your conscience and your God-created female nature correspond to and agree with God's word.

Verse References:

And Jehovah God said, It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper as his counterpart. And Jehovah God formed from the ground every animal of the field and every bird of heaven, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called any living animal, that was its name. And the man gave names to all cattle and to the birds of heaven and to every animal of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper as his counterpart. And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. And Jehovah God built the rib, which He had taken from the man, into a woman and brought her to the man. And the man said, This time this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman because out of Man this one was taken. - Gen. 2:18-23

For man is not out of woman, but woman out of man; for also man was not created for the sake of the woman, but woman for the sake of the man. - 1 Cor. 11:8-9

The Purpose of a Sister's Existence: To Be a "Helper" to Her Husband

For us to understand the purpose and meaning of a sister's existence, we need to come to Genesis chapter two. According to the Biblical account of creation, the woman came into existence because it was "not good for the man to be alone." God made man after He had created everything else in the universe. As He was creating all the different items, the Bible says several times, "God saw that it was good." But after God made man He declared that something was "not good." God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper as his counterpart." According to the Bible, God made the woman to be a helper to the man. God designed Eve as a helper to meet all of Adam's needs.

Before God made a helper for Adam, He first brought to him all of the animals He had created. This was a kind of "dating," to see if Adam wanted to "marry" anything. Out of all the animals Adam did not find a helper as his counterpart. Many of these animals could have met a specific need. Adam may have found some use for a horse, or a cow, or a dog. But obviously none of these animals could be a helper as his counterpart to meet all of his needs. God brought these animals to Adam to heighten his desire for a counterpart. When Eve was built out of his side and presented to Adam, he realized that she could meet all of his needs.

The Purpose of the Church's Existence: To Meet All of the Needs of Christ

In the Bible, the husband and the wife are a picture of Christ and the church. Spiritually speaking, the church came into existence to meet all of the needs of Christ. The church is a "woman," and Christ is her Husband. Whenever Christ has a need, the church should be able to meet that need. The church came into existence not to just meet a certain kind of need, but to meet every need of Christ. For example, the church is the Lord's habitation. The church is His abode. The church is also His Body, His army, His testimony, and His everything. Whatever He needs, we are here to meet that need. The church is able to meet every need that Christ may have. With this desire in view, God made a statement, "It is not good for the man to be alone." This means that it is not good for Christ to be alone. So in the same way that God made a helper for Adam to meet all of his needs, God brought the church into existence to meet all of the needs of Christ.

We as the church are not a "horse," or a "dog," or a "bird" to meet a certain kind of need. We are here to meet all of the needs of Christ. This utterance may sound peculiar, but there is an important principle involved here. An animal may be able to meet a certain kind of need in a limited way. For example, a dog can meet particular needs. Some people keep dogs for companionship. Others have a watchdog for protection. A dog can even be trained to help lead a blind person. But all of these needs are very specific, and the meeting of these needs by a dog is incomplete. There are other ways to meet the same needs. An animal such as a dog may have its usefulness, but only in a limited sense. The church is not like a "dog," to meet just a few needs in an incomplete way. The church is a "helper" to Christ. This means that the church can meet every need that Christ has.

Our existence as the church is very high. We as the church are here to meet whatever need Christ has. If Christ needs the preaching of the gospel, then we must preach the gospel. If Christ needs a greater expression and manifestation, then we must grow in life. If Christ needs a testimony, then we must build it up. When Christ has a need, then we as the church must meet that need. The church cannot give excuses. The church has no right to tell the Lord, "Your needs are too high, and there is no way for us to meet them." The church was brought into existence to meet all of the needs of Christ. This is what it means for the church to be His "helper."

Your Husband's Needs Are Met by Your Person, and Not by Your Activities

Then when we come to the matter of a sister's existence, it is the same. Sisters, your existence is to meet all of the needs of your husband. You are his "helper." If you are a single, unmarried sister, then Christ Himself is your Husband, and your existence is to meet all of Christ's needs. But once you are married, you must realize that you are your husband's helper. Only you can meet all of his needs. You were not designed just to meet a few of your husband's needs in a limited way. In other words, you should not say, "I am my husband's helper, so I must cook for him, keep the house clean, and help manage his finances." It is not a matter of doing certain, particular things for him. No, that is too low and too limited. Your existence is much higher than this. The way for you to meet all of your husband's needs is by your person, not by your activities. You were built and designed as a unique, precious sister to meet all of your husband's needs with your very person.

To understand this more clearly, we may use the illustration of a mother with a baby boy. The mother doesn't just meet the practical needs of the baby. The mother doesn't say, "When my baby is hungry, I feed him. When he is cold, I make sure he is dressed warmly. When he is tired, I rock him to sleep. Therefore I am a good mother." If a mother only cared for these practical things, would the baby grow in a healthy way? The baby needs much more than this. The baby needs his mother's person. The mother meets the needs of her baby with her person. Suppose in a family there is only a father and no mother. A father can take care of the baby's practical needs, but the baby will still suffer from not having a mother. The father can make sure the baby drinks milk, is dressed warmly, takes a bath, and goes to sleep. The father can provide all of these things. But there is one thing that the father cannot provide, and that is the person of the mother. The mother, by her person, meets all of the needs of the baby.

This illustration should cause you to realize what it means to be a helper to your husband. You were made to be a helper to meet all of your husband's needs. If you are a single sister, then you were made to meet all of the needs of Christ, because Christ is your husband. If you are married, you were made to meet all of the needs of your husband. Being a helper to your husband is higher than you think. You do not need to be so concerned about being a good cook, knowing how to sew, cleaning the house well, or taking care of so many practical matters. A sister may not know how to cook. All of her dishes may taste the same. She may not be so capable at sewing or cleaning. Yet she as a person is fully able to meet all of the needs of her husband.

Sisters, you should have a wonderful realization: it is your person that meets all of your husband's needs. Do not become frustrated by trying so hard to be a better cook or housewife. Cooking, sewing, and cleaning the house are actually miscellaneous items. If you do them well, it is a blessing. But not everyone can do them well. Not everyone can cook or sew. Do not let these items become a pressure to you. When you impose too many laws and standards on yourself they will become an impossible demand. The reason you may feel pressured is because you have never realized that who you are as a person is precious enough. You as a person can meet all of your husband's needs. But instead, you may try to meet your husband's needs by taking care of so many practical items. Remember that the reason God made the woman was because the man alone was "not good." There is so much that God intends to accomplish through the man, but man alone cannot do it. The man must have a counterpart. He must have a "helper." This helper to man is an all-inclusive help. This helper meets all of his needs. As a sister, you can meet all of your husband's needs. You meet his needs not with a lot of activities, but with your very person.

Sisters should be bold to tell the Lord, "I know that You love my husband. I realize that You are his Savior and Redeemer. But Lord, even You cannot meet all of his needs. That is why You made me. I am here with this one purpose, to meet all of his needs with my person." It is good to have this kind of confidence. If you say, "But I don't know how to cook," then you should realize that your husband's need is not necessarily good food. It is quite possible that if your cooking is too good, it will become a problem to your husband. Only the Lord knows. Perhaps you feel unskillful and incapable. Then that is what your husband needs. The needs of your husband are not according to what you think. In fact, his needs are not even according to what he thinks. But the Lord knows what he needs. What your husband really needs is you. Who you are is what he needs. His needs are met by you as a person, and not by your person's doing. It is your person that is precious. Adam's need was met by Eve's person, and not by what Eve did for him. Eve as a person met all of the needs of Adam. In the same way, you as a person can meet all of the needs of your husband. This is a sweet and wonderful realization.

The Source of a Sister's Existence: The Life of Her Husband

After realizing that you were made as a "helper" to meet the need of your husband, then you should also have a second realization. This realization is concerning the source of your existence. In Genesis chapter two, as we have already seen, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper as his counterpart." After He said this, how did He create the woman? He took the woman out of the man's side. While Adam slept, God took a rib out of his side and built a woman. This is also a picture of what happened to the Lord. Adam's being put to sleep is a figure of Christ being put to death on the cross. Adam slept, and his side was opened up, producing Eve. The Lord Jesus died on the cross, and His side was opened up, producing the church. We as the church were produced from the blood and the water that flowed from His side. The principle is the same for the man and his wife. The wife was taken out of her husband's side.

The woman was built while Adam slept. God took a rib out of Adam and built a woman. Specifically the woman was not "made" or "created." Rather, she was "built." Man was made, but the woman was built. This means that the existence and nature of a woman is more complicated than that of a man. The woman was built from a bone out of Adam's side. The bone here typifies life. For example, concerning the Lord Jesus it was said, "No bone of His shall be broken" (John 19:36). The bone of the Lord Jesus signifies His indestructible resurrection life, which cannot be broken. For Eve to be built from Adam's rib means that she was built out of his life. On one hand, Adam needed to be put to sleep, which is a symbol of death. Then on the other hand, a bone needed to be taken from his side, which symbolizes his life. The life of the man is the source of the woman's existence. This requires spiritual insight to understand. The first realization a sister should have is that she meets all of her husband's needs. Then the second realization she should have is that her source comes out of the life of her husband.

Dear married sisters, did you ever realize that your source comes from your husband? You may think, "If my husband had not been born, I would have just married someone else." That is not a spiritual realization. Even before the creation, God already prearranged and predestinated your existence for your husband. In God's prearranging, first the brother was designed, and then out of that brother a sister was built for him. God first saw your husband, and then He saw you. God would not say, "Here is a sister, so let Me make a brother for her." God would say, "Here is a brother, so I must make a sister to be his helper." It was not the other way around. All of us can say that as the church, Christ is the source of our existence. The Lord is our Husband, and without Him we would not have life. All of our life is from Christ. On the human level this principle is evident with a husband and wife. A married sister draws the source of her existence from her husband.

A Sister's Life is Dependent on Her Husband

According to the Bible, a sister's life is dependent on her husband. Any time a sister struggles to have an independent life from her husband, she is violating a Biblical principle. The woman was built from her husband's rib. She was built from the life of her husband. After Eve was built, Adam declared, "This time this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." In other words, Adam was saying, "This is me. She is the same as me." Then Adam went on to say, "This one shall be called Woman because out of Man this one was taken." This means that in a sense, the wife is the same as her husband. She is out of him, and she is one with him. There is no possibility for the wife to be separated from her husband and to gain another life. A woman's life comes from that of her husband. Her husband is the source of her existence.

Sisters, this means there is no reason for you to say, "I have my own life. I have my own desires, my own talents, my own career, and my own future." Whatever you have is out from your husband. Apart from your husband's life, you don't have another life. This may seem like an old-fashioned concept, but we must care for the word of God. Actually, many divorces and broken families come from the wife insisting on developing herself too much. The sisters should be careful. The more a sister develops her own taste, desire, ability, career, success, and future, the more she will lose the meaning of her existence. If she develops herself too much, she can no longer take her husband's life as her own life. For a sister to try to gain a certain life of her own is not according to the Lord's purpose or design. It is not healthy. The more a sister develops this attitude, the more she loses the meaning of her existence.

This does not mean that it is wrong for a sister to work or get a good education. It is not a matter of work or education; it is a matter of life. When a sister tries to have a life apart from her husband, there can be no testimony according to God's purpose. Sisters, you were not only made to be a helper and to meet all of your husband's needs, but even more, your existence is dependent upon the life of your husband. This may sound peculiar in today's age, but it is very real, and it is Biblical. Your husband is the source of your existence. You are not healthy anytime your life is apart from your husband's life. Your husband and your family will not receive any help if you live independently. Furthermore, God will not be able to obtain His testimony with your family. God built you to be a helper to meet the need of your husband. How did God build you? He built you out of the life of your husband. Your husband is the very source of your existence.

Today's education and today's culture are doing their best to damage what God designed. Women are encouraged to be independent, to be "somebody." But eventually so many women suffer and are not happy. They are trying to live in a way that is not according to God's design. So many divorces and broken homes come from this. Even when a husband and wife stay together their family may still be broken, because the wife insists on living her own life independently from the life of her husband. Children raised up in such an environment will go through a real suffering. Has the modern thought about women helped the human race? We would probably all confess that it has hurt the human race. This is because it is against God's original design. Sisters, society does not teach you that your life is out from your husband's. Rather you were raised and educated to become your "own person." But once you are married, you are suddenly no longer your own person. This is hard to handle, but nevertheless, your female nature tells you it is true. Your whole cultural background has shaped you to believe, "I must develop my own person, my own individuality. I will not take my husband as my person." But within you there is a God-created female nature that desires to be dependent on your husband, and to be headed up by him.

Sisters, today's society offers a harmful temptation to you. You were probably raised up in a school that told you to develop your own person and live your own independent life. But when you are married, you must learn that your life is for your husband. In fact, your life is your husband. Your husband's life produced your existence. This may be very hard for us to take, but this is God's word, and we must be open to receive it. You may wonder, "How can I possibly take this? This is too much for me." You should not be overly concerned. The best way to respond to this understanding is just to be alert and aware. If you have the awareness that you were raised up by your education and by society to reject the life of your husband, then you will be protected. When you are developing yourself too much, then this awareness will cause you to have a certain sensitivity. You will realize that you are in danger of rejecting your husband's life and losing the meaning and source of your existence.

A Peaceful and Restful Life Based on Two Healthy Realizations

As a sister, you need to see two matters clearly. Firstly, you need to realize, "I was made as a person to meet all the needs of my husband. I am not here trying to meet his needs by doing outward activities. It is my person that can meet all of his needs." The more you can learn this, the more you will be blessed. We have already seen that a sister may try to do a lot for her husband without realizing that the real help to her husband is her person. This first realization should cause you to avoid striving for outward activities that you think will help your husband according to your natural concepts. Instead it is better to pay attention to your person. It is your person that is so precious in meeting all of your husband's needs. When you overdo things outwardly to try and meet your husband's needs, that may take you away from the life and person of your husband. This will cause your marriage to suffer. Realizing that you as a person are already the best help to your husband will free you from unnecessary pressure.

Secondly, you need to realize, "My life is my husband. My existence is my husband. I must take my husband as my life and as my person." This second realization should make your daily life much more restful. It is very possible that you may be harboring some standards or expectations in your mind concerning your husband. This will bring you into frustration. Many sisters are pressured to the uttermost from this one thing. They have standards and expectations concerning their husbands, which their husbands cannot meet. Some sisters even complain, "My husband cannot be a leading one. My husband cannot speak so well in the meetings." But consider, what does it matter if your husband is not a leading one, or if he cannot speak so well? In the church there is no one high or low. There is no such thing. Such considerations should be dropped. If you can learn not to have any expectations or standards concerning your husband, you will be very restful. If something bothers you today, it is because you haven't learned this lesson. You haven't learned, "My husband is my life. My husband is the source of my existence. Besides him, I have no existence. Without him, I have no life."

A sister often desires to be married to a prevailing or manifested brother. If her husband is not so prevailing she sometimes complains about him. "He is not so useful. He doesn't know how to testify. He cannot carry out his burden." Did you know that every time you think negatively about your husband, the church experiences frustration and difficulty? This kind of complaining weakens the church and even contradicts the meaning of your own existence. Try to learn what the story in Genesis shows us. First, the meaning of your existence is to be a helper to your husband and to meet all of his needs. Second, the source of your existence is the very life of your husband, so you must take him as your life and as your person. When you see these two matters, you will realize that to complain about your husband contradicts how you were created. If you can just have these two realizations you will be free from all the pressures and expectations, and your life will be peaceful and restful.

Sisters, if you try to overly influence your husband, if you try to manipulate your husband, or if you try to live aside from your husband and fight to develop yourself, then eventually you will cause yourself to suffer. You will pay a high price, and your life will not be happy. If you can learn the secret that your existence is out from your husband's, your daily life will become so peaceful. But if you try to manipulate your husband in order to exercise your own person, eventually you will be the one who will suffer the most. Some of you sisters are so capable and are able to handle many things. Eventually you are able to manipulate and handle your husband. You may do this for awhile, but you will suffer in the long run. Eventually the woman's nature within you will cry out, "Why can't my husband be stronger? Why can't he take the lead in our household?" The reason he can't take the lead is because you have handled him too much. You have overcome him too often. This is not a small thing. You have to realize that within you there is a certain nature that was created by God. That very nature desires a headship. That very nature desires your husband's life to be your life, and even his person to be your person. To be capable is not wrong, but your capability is to meet your husband's need. When you are so capable and can do so much, still within you there will be a desire to be under the headship of your husband and to take him as your life and person.

It is a good exercise for sisters to tell the Lord, "Lord, I am so thankful for my husband. My life is dependent on him. He is the source and the meaning of my existence." Possibly many of you cannot pray this way. Sisters, if you are able to pray in this way, then your life will become so restful. Nothing will be able to pressure you. This is similar to becoming restful when you experience Christ in a situation. Christians in general only feel pressured when Christ is not with them. When we are experiencing Christ, what can pressure us? If we are pressured or bothered, it is always because we are short of Christ. If we are gaining Christ, then nothing can bother us. But you dear sisters have a double blessing. Not only do you have Christ, but you also have your husband. Not only can you say, "Christ is here, so I am restful," but you can also say, "My husband is here, so I am restful. My husband is my life. He is my source. He is the meaning of my existence." If you can exercise according to this understanding, then you and your husband will surely be blessed.

The Woman Being Under the Headship of Her Husband

1 Corinthians 11:3 gives us an important principle concerning God's government: "But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ." This means that if the husband does not take the lead in his household, it is easy for his wife to be out from under God's government. This is why it is very risky and unhealthy for a sister to have too much influence on her husband. A sister needs to realize that her husband's headship is according to God's government. When a husband knows how to take a stand for the Lord's interests, then he will know how to exercise his headship. His headship will be according to God's headship. Sisters, you should be thankful for the headship of your husband, because under his headship you are well-protected. You need to appreciate the headship of your husband just as much as you appreciate the headship of Christ. Do not despise your husband's exercise of his headship. If you can properly take the life and headship of your husband, then you can properly be under the headship of Christ and in the enjoyment of His life. The proper headship in a family is an honor to God and a shame to Satan.

In 1 Timothy 2:11-12, Paul said, "Let a woman learn in quietness in all subjection; but I do not permit a woman to teach or to assert authority over a man, but to be in quietness." This means that a sister should not exercise authority over a brother. A sister should have the realization that even if a brother is young, he is still a man. There can be a proper and healthy spiritual fellowship between sisters and brothers when it is needed, but a sister should still be careful about asserting authority over a man. Paul then gave the reason: "For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived; but the woman, having been quite deceived, has fallen into transgression" (v. 13-14). Sisters should realize that it was the woman who was first deceived. In making the decision to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge, Eve set aside her husband's life and became independent. She was deceived into eating that fruit because she forgot that her life was dependent on her husband. In so doing she began to make decisions of her own, which eventually caused the fall of man.

According to God's principle the sisters are under subjection. A sister should learn to be in subjection to her husband, and her husband must learn how to be the head of the household. The headship of the husband is according to God's economy. Sisters, your husband's headship is for the purpose of bringing you into the Lord's presence. When you respect and appreciate your husband's headship over you, this will lead you to the Lord. As you are learning to be under the headship of your husband, the church is learning to be under the headship of Christ. Being under the proper headship of your husband will cause you to both love the Lord and love the church, because it will bring you under the headship of Christ according to God's economy.

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