Message Three:
The Virtuous Woman

[Editor's note: The use of the King James Version has been retained for Old Testament quotations in this message due to particular utterances by the speaker.]

Introductory Word

One of the favorite portions of the Bible for sisters is Proverbs 31:10-31, which speaks of the "virtuous woman." We will go through this portion verse by verse in order to understand what it means to be a virtuous woman. We will see that the virtuous woman is described in the context of the Lord's kingship in the church life. She is also described in contrast to the "strange woman" who is referred to throughout the book of Proverbs. We will see that for a sister to become a virtuous woman there are three general principles and five daily exercises which she must practice. Eventually in her maturity the virtuous woman becomes a blessing to the Lord, to her family, and to the church life.

The Context of the Book of Proverbs: The Exercise of the Kingship

First we must put this chapter in its proper context by understanding the book of Proverbs. The burden of the book of Proverbs is to teach us how to live a godly life until we exercise the Lord's kingship. The book of Proverbs is a book of wisdom, and through wisdom eventually a kingship is exercised. Usually we read Proverbs to pick up one or two verses to direct us in our behavior. Not many of us read Proverbs with the view that this book guides us into the full exercise of the Lord's kingship. The last chapter of Proverbs begins with words of wisdom on how to be a proper king. But then this chapter concludes in a surprising way, with twenty-two verses describing a virtuous woman. This tells us how important and necessary a virtuous woman is to the Lord for the exercising of His kingship.

The kingship of the Lord is fully related to the church life. For the Lord to exercise His kingship in the church, both directly and through the brothers, there must be virtuous sisters. Without virtuous sisters there will be no prevailing or overcoming church. A virtuous woman is the very element that allows her husband to exercise his kingship. Her husband's kingship is also the kingship of the Lord. We will see that because of the virtuous woman's exercise her husband is able to be among the royal and kingly ones, the "elders of the land." For the Lord to exercise His kingship, both directly and through the brothers, He needs virtuous sisters. This is why it is so significant for a sister to become a virtuous woman.

The "Strange Woman"

When reading Proverbs it is easy to get bothered, because many verses about women are overly negative. The book of Proverbs speaks of the "strange woman," who is in contrast to the virtuous woman. We usually assume that a "strange woman" means an immoral woman, but there is a much broader definition. A "strange woman" is one without the knowledge of life. She has no realization of God's work, God's dispensation, or God's economy. Therefore the Bible calls her a "strange woman."

The portions concerning the strange woman are usually related to her mouth. For example, Prov. 2:16 says, "To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words." Prov. 5:3 says, "For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil." And Prov. 22:14 states, "The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the Lord shall fall therein." Everything that the strange woman does is according to her mouth. Her words may be bitter or sweet, but eventually they lead to death. This shows us that we must know how to guard our words and take care of our mouth properly. Our mouth can be the source of many problems. Whether the words we speak are good or evil, comforting or offensive, sweet or critical, they can all lead to death. But if a sister knows how to firstly take care of her mouth, then she will be in a proper position to learn how to be a virtuous woman. The virtuous woman uses her hands, not her mouth. When she does use her mouth, it is to speak words of wisdom and kindness.

Why are the words out of our mouth so significant? Because what comes out of our mouth is from our heart. "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matt. 12:34b). Furthermore, when we speak too easily or too lightly it means we have a loose and undisciplined disposition. When our disposition is loose we can talk about many things, including things which are seemingly spiritual. Nothing requires less paying of a price than does our speaking. Often our speaking is only for the entertainment of our soul. There is no price involved in speaking many words. We must learn that if we do not know how to use our hands, we should avoid using our mouths. Eventually the virtuous woman exercises her mouth a great deal, but that is not how her exercise begins. Her exercise begins with her heart, with her desire, with her hands, and with her labor. Eventually a virtuous woman becomes a person who can exercise her mouth, and when she speaks, her voice is a voice of wisdom.

All of the basic requirements for a virtuous woman are contrary to the exercise of the mouth. We should realize that nothing is more significant than our mouth. The book of Proverbs shows us that it is very easy for women to talk. They can talk about bitter things and sweet things. Sometimes their words are ugly, and sometimes their mouth is like a honeycomb. But eventually, according to Proverbs, it all leads to death. When a sister only exercises her mouth, it means that she is not exercising her person. Eventually such a sister will become a "strange woman." This is not a matter of morality. This means that she does not know life. Sisters must be diligent to exercise to grow in life, so that they will not become a "strange woman," but instead a "virtuous woman."

The "Virtuous Woman"

What is a virtuous woman according to the Bible? A virtuous woman is a woman who has genuine and real spiritual experiences. Even a strange woman can eventually become a virtuous woman if she goes through a healthy process. The basic requirement for the virtuous woman is to have a clear vision, and to have diligence in her exercise according to that vision. She must have a strong desire to pursue what God Himself is after. The Bible is very balanced. Proverbs first says many things concerning women that are hard for us to take. But eventually Proverbs concludes in such a marvelous and encouraging way. The writer of Proverbs spent so many verses on the strange woman, but then he concludes the book with a description of the virtuous woman. This should be an encouragement to us. The last chapter of Proverbs fully describes how a sister can exercise to become a virtuous woman.

Three Principles Concerning the Virtuous Woman
1st Principle: "Her price is far above rubies"

The portion concerning the virtuous woman begins with an introduction: "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies" (v. 10). A ruby is a precious stone. A precious stone in the Bible signifies a person who has undergone the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. For a person to become a precious stone means that the Spirit has worked on this person time and time again. The person began as clay, but eventually became a precious stone. A virtuous woman is a woman who is mature in the experiences of life. This virtuous woman comes from the workmanship of the Holy Spirit. For a sister to be a virtuous woman means that she has been in the Lord's hand for many years. She has allowed the Lord to abide in her, to grow in her, to work on her, to discipline her, to cross her out, and to transform her. These experiences enable her to become someone whose price is far above rubies.

It is significant that this entire portion is introduced in such a way. This verse makes it clear that a virtuous woman is not a matter of being gifted or talented. The virtue of such a sister does not come from her natural birth. We should not think that some sisters are born virtuous and others are not. That is not according to the Bible. A virtuous sister is one who has learned how to live in the Lord's presence and abide in the freshness of the Spirit. She has allowed the Lord to work on her, transform her, and deal with her. She has allowed the Lord to put her through all kinds of environments. She has allowed the Spirit to transform her into maturity. Such a sister is a virtuous woman. She is a precious stone, even more precious than rubies. This verse tells us that if a sister desires to be a virtuous woman, she should realize that the price is going to be high. To be virtuous is not something cheap. It does not come by birth. If a sister desires to be a virtuous woman, then she must go through many transforming experiences in the presence of the Lord.

2nd Principle: "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her"

This portion continues, "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life" (v. 11-12). We have seen that a virtuous woman is firstly a spiritual person who has experienced the work of the Holy Spirit. Then this next verse shows us that a virtuous woman is one that her husband can rely on. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…." If a sister is virtuous it means that her husband can absolutely rely on her. This is a wonderful verse, but it is deeper than we may think. It does not say that a virtuous woman is able to supply all of her husband's needs. It is not merely a matter of the husband relying on his wife for his needs in his living. Instead, it says that her husband's heart can safely trust in her.

Here it speaks of the husband's heart, and not the wife's capability. This verse does not necessarily mean that the wife is so capable. It simply means that the husband in his heart can safely rely on her. The virtuous woman may be very capable, but her capability is covered by her husband. There are some sisters who are so capable that their husbands do not need to worry about anything. But unfortunately many capable sisters dominate their husbands. To dominate your husband, even unconsciously, means that you are not a virtuous sister. What this verse describes is a beautiful relationship between the wife and the husband. The wife is not dominating her husband, and at the same time the husband's heart fully trusts in his wife.

3rd Principle: "She seeketh wool and flax"

The first principle of a virtuous woman is concerning the Spirit's work. The second principle is concerning the husband's trust in his heart. Then the third principle speaks of the virtuous woman herself. "She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands" (v. 13). The virtuous woman is seeking after two items, wool and flax. Wool is related to the salvation of Christ, and flax is related to a pure human life. The virtuous woman is a person who seeks after the spiritual riches from the life of Christ, and also seeks after a pure human living. On the one hand, this sister desires the spiritual things. On the other hand, she takes care of the proper humanity. A virtuous woman must be balanced. If a sister who is married and has children were to say, "I only care for Christ," then this is not so healthy. She should not neglect her husband and her children. Otherwise, where is the flax? Where is the proper humanity? Yet neither should she say, "I only care for my husband. I only care for my children." Then where is the wool? Where is the salvation of Christ? A sister needs both aspects. A sister cannot afford to be overly spiritually zealous, and neither should she only exercise her human nature and virtue. She should seek after both sides. A virtuous woman needs to pay attention to the wool and to the flax. She needs to pay attention to the riches of Christ, and she also needs to pay attention to the proper human life.

What does it mean for a sister to be a virtuous woman? So far we have covered three principles. Firstly, towards the Lord, a sister should realize, "I must cooperate with the Spirit's transforming work." This is to become a precious stone. For a sister to become a precious stone she must have many experiences of the work of the Holy Spirit. Secondly, towards her husband, a sister should realize, "I must stand with my husband so that his heart can trust in me." In practicing her family life she should not dominate her husband, but rather she should allow his heart to trust in her. Thirdly, towards herself, she should realize, "I must seek after the spiritual riches, and I must also seek after the pure humanity." Within her there should be a kind of searching. She should have a seeking, a longing, after both the spiritual riches and the pure humanity. This provides a general description of what it means to be a virtuous woman.

The Five Exercises of a Virtuous Woman

Having seen what it means to a virtuous woman, we must now make it applicable in our experience. What does a sister need to do to become a virtuous woman? How can she become something more precious than rubies? How can she cause her husband to trust her in his heart? And how can she seek after both the riches of Christ and a decent humanity? This next section of verses describes the exercises that a sister should have in her daily life to become a virtuous woman.

1st Exercise: Bringing, Preparing, and Dispensing Food

The first crucial practice of a virtuous woman is related to food. "She is like the merchant's ship; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens" (v.14-15). This is the first step in the virtuous woman's experience. The Bible tells us that a virtuous woman is like a merchant's ship. This virtuous woman is not sailing away, but sailing back. The ship is bringing back food from afar. This principle can be applied spiritually and practically. Spiritually speaking, the church needs food. Practically speaking, our household needs food. A virtuous woman is one who pays the price to labor and produce food and to bring it back from afar.

Producing food is not a matter of excitement. It requires the paying of a price. If there are no sisters in the church life who act as merchant's ships to bring back food from afar, then where will the riches be in the church life? In our daily practice we need to be those who are willing to pay the price. A virtuous sister is willing to travel, to toil, and to labor to bring the food back. Does she bring the food back for herself? No, she prepares it for others. Verse 15 makes this clear: "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens." After she gets the food, she rises while it is yet night, and gives meat to her household. Not only does the sister have food, but she also knows how to dispense food. Both of these matters require the paying of a price. She first pays a price to travel and labor to get the food. Then she pays a price by giving up her sleep so that the food can be dispensed. She rises up early, while it is still night, so that she can dispense the food for which she has labored.

The dispensing of food is both a practical and spiritual matter. In a sister's family life it is a healthy practice to prepare breakfast for her husband and her children. To cook breakfast for the family is not stressed in the American culture, but it is still a healthy practice. However, it requires the paying of a price. To cook dinner is more according to our taste and convenience, but to make breakfast is not because we must sacrifice our sleep. If a sister wants to cook breakfast for her husband she needs to rise up early. Spiritually speaking, it is the same. We usually like to do the things that are easy and convenient. We like to labor in a convenient way that is according to our preference. In the church life, however, we need to pay a price. For us to rise up early means that we overcome our limitations. As a merchant's ship we need to pay the price to gain the spiritual food. Then we need to rise up early so that this food can be dispensed into the church life.

The virtuous woman knows both how to obtain food and how to dispense food. These are two steps of one exercise. We should not just get food and then think that we are done. We must be diligent to rise up early and pay the price so that the food can be dispensed. We may never have realized that to be a virtuous woman is not so easy. We are usually so excited about this portion on the virtuous woman, but after reading verses 14 and 15 we find out that it is more than we originally thought. We are not so qualified after all, because we are usually too lazy to be a virtuous woman. Either we are too lazy to get the food, or we are too lazy to dispense the food. Even when we dispense the food, we may dispense it in a sloppy way. Eventually we may lack the testimony of being virtuous because of the matter of food. A virtuous woman is one who pays the price. She is willing to travel and to labor to get food. Then she is willing to rise up early to prepare and dispense the food she has obtained. She prepares food for her family practically, and she dispenses food into the church life spiritually. The obtaining and dispensing of food is the first exercise of a virtuous woman.

Verse 15 says that not only does the virtuous woman give meat to her household, but she also gives a portion to her maidens. This is another element of the initial exercise of a virtuous woman. Some translations indicate that this is to help the maidens have a proper labor. A virtuous sister knows how to help the young ones. She knows how to help those who are inexperienced in life. She obtains the food, dispenses the food, and then also helps those who are young have a proper labor to get food for themselves. This is the first practice in the daily life of a virtuous woman. Sisters, if you desire to be a virtuous woman you must know how to get food, both practically and spiritually. Then you must know how to rise up early to dispense the food. Finally you must know how to help the maidens, the young and inexperienced ones, have a proper labor to make food for themselves.

2nd Exercise: Gaining a Field and Planting a Vineyard

The second exercise of a virtuous woman goes further than buying or dispensing food. Now there is the need to grow some food in a vineyard. Verse 16 says, "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." It is more precious to grow food than it is to gain food. When a sister first comes to the Lord and practices the church life most of her experience is simply obtaining the food. But eventually she will realize that there is something more than being a merchant's ship to bring food. She will see that there is the need for a field on which she can labor.

There are sisters in the church life that dispense food diligently. For example, they gain food during their morning watch, and they dispense the food by testifying in the meetings. However, they may not have a piece of land in their local church for them to labor on. Sisters need a piece of land to grow food. This requires the paying of a price. "She considereth a field, and buyeth it." A field must be bought. We should ask ourselves, "Have I paid the price for a piece of land in my daily life? Do I have a field that I can labor on and grow food? Is there a place where I can sow and I can reap?" Without such a piece of land you will become a "floating" sister, which means that there will be nothing solid in your daily life. Do you have a solid burden, a burden that causes you to sow the seed and cultivate the land for food to grow? Or is your church life just a "floating" life, like a ship on the sea that floats around? Having a piece of land is more solid than being a merchant's ship.

Some of you may have a piece of land in your family life. You know exactly how to care of your husband. You even know how to raise up your children according to the Lord's wisdom. This means that you have a piece of land. But how about in the church life? Most sisters in the church life never pay the price to get a piece of land. The very best sisters among us are like merchant ships, travelling, laboring, and toiling so that food can be brought in. They are faithful to receive something from the Lord and dispense it into the church life for the saints to get the nourishment. But there is still the need for them to have a field to labor on. If we desire to have a piece of land on which we can grow food, that requires us to be burdened. That also requires us to pay the price so that our burden may be substantiated. This is the second exercise of a virtuous woman.

An example may make this more clear. Suppose a sister realizes that she must give life in the meetings. Therefore she prays in the morning. What is that prayer? That prayer is like a merchant's ship. The sister is laboring and toiling to bring back the food. She prays in the morning, and she labors in the Word, so that within her food will be stored. Then she comes to the meeting and exercises her spirit boldly to dispense food to the church. This can be likened to rising up early, because she overcomes her limitations. Out of her dispensing, everyone is satisfied. Even the maidens, those who are seemingly not qualified, receive some help. But where is her land? Where is her burden? What is her function? What is her portion in the church life? She doesn't know, because she doesn't have a piece of land. She doesn't have a field to labor on.

The lack of a piece of land has been the biggest frustration to many sisters. When they first came into the church life, everything was wonderful. But after some time they began to feel frustrated. They felt that they were of the church, yet not of the church. They were of the church because they enjoyed life, received life, imparted life, and dispensed life. Yet they didn't know where they belonged in the church life. They didn't know how to find their place. This means that they didn't have a field to labor on. How do we get a field? To get a field requires a burden, and also requires the paying of a price to substantiate that burden. When it comes to the church life there is the need to pay the price. Sisters, these verses tell us that if you desire to have a field to labor on, then you must pay the price for it. The virtuous woman realizes that it is not enough to get food and dispense food. She must have a piece of land. She considers a field, and then buys it.

Why do we need a piece of land? Because this land is where a vineyard can be planted. The Lord is the true vine (John 15:1), and a vineyard is a place where His life can grow. The virtuous woman uses her field to produce life. She pays the price to get the field, and then she plants a vineyard with the fruit of her hands. The fruit of her hands is what she has experienced of life, which she then uses to cultivate the field. This cultivation in turn produces more life. Eventually a vineyard is produced, which means that more life is brought forth. We need to see this progression. First there is a piece of land available, which we can buy. Then there is "the fruit of our hands," the fruit of life in us, which we can apply. When the fruit of life in us is properly applied to that piece of land, a vineyard is produced. The riches of life in us becomes something even more fruitful and abundant. This is a wonderful picture.

To summarize what we have covered so far, a sister who desires to become a virtuous woman must let the Spirit work on her so that she can become a precious stone. She then needs to be someone who her husband trusts in his heart. Finally she needs to be someone who seeks after the Lord's salvation and the proper human living. These three principles define a virtuous woman. Then to become such a virtuous woman, the sister needs to exercise in the church life. Her first exercise is laboring to get food. Then she must dispense the food to her family and help the inexperienced ones (the maidens) learn how to get food for themselves. Her second exercise is to find a piece of land. Through her fellowship with the Lord, and through her fellowship with her husband and with the saints in the church, she should receive a burden. This burden is a piece of land. Once she sees this piece of land she must pay the price to acquire it. Then she will no longer be a "floating" sister. She will have something solid in her exercise, because she has a piece of land on which to labor.

Then what should this sister do? With the fruit of her hands, she must plant a vineyard. The fruit of her hands is the fruit of her life experiences. With the experiences that she has from the Lord, and with the riches she has received from the Lord, she should begin to labor on the land until a vineyard is produced. "With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." We may have never realized that a piece of land is so precious and that we should pay a price for it. Once we have a piece of land we need to apply the fruit of our hands, the fruit of life from our experience. We need to cultivate the land, and labor on the land, until a vineyard can be produced. Then we will not only have the fruit of our hands, but we will have even greater and richer life from the vineyard.

3rd Exercise: Being Girded with Truth and Shining as a Lamp

Now we come to the third exercise of a virtuous sister. "She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night" (v. 17-18). To be girded is to be ready to do something, such as to walk or to fight. The New Testament tells us to gird our loins with truth. "Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth and having put on the breastplate of righteousness" (Eph. 6:14). For a sister to gird her loins with strength means that she has girded herself with truth. Her strength comes from the truth. The virtuous woman also strengthens her arms, which means that her arms are exercised. Even if a sister has the truth, she may still be short of exercise. Without the proper exercise the truth itself can be lost. But when a sister is girded with the truth and is exercised according to truth, she will become a light shining in the darkness. The word "candle" here can be translated as "lamp." Such a sister will be a shining lamp as a testimony, because she has the truth and she exercises according to the truth.

The most important aspect of these two verses is the lamp. After the virtuous woman purchases a field and produces a vineyard, she becomes a lamp. She becomes a shining person, a testimony that does not go out by night. With this virtuous woman, even though everything may be dark around her, there is a certain kind of shining. Why is there such a shining with this sister? Firstly, she was diligent and exercised in gaining the food. Secondly, she paid the price to purchase a field and grow a vineyard. Now thirdly, she has girded her loins with strength and truth. Then verse 18 says, "She also perceiveth that her merchandise is good." "Merchandise" can be translated as "earnings," When we are girded with truth and with strength, and when our arms are exercised, eventually there will be some "earnings." Something visible will be produced. We will be able to see these earnings and perceive that they are good. Then this will give us the realization that our lamp has not gone out in the night, but is still shining.

4th Exercise: Supplying and Caring for Others

The fourth exercise of a virtuous woman is related to her care for others. Verses 19 and 20 say, "She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy." This sister has a specific labor. She uses a spindle and distaff, meaning she produces materials with which she can care for others. Then she stretches out her hand to the poor. She is an open person. She is not stingy. Whenever there is a need, her hand is stretched out. This virtuous woman is a person who is filled with care. Who is her care for? Here it is not for her family, because her family is already cared for. These are ones that are outside the family. These are the ones who are outside the rich enjoyment of the church life. The virtuous woman cares for these poor and needy ones.

Very few sisters have the realization that their hands need to be stretched out. We need to practice the stretching out of our hands to the poor. If others are poor we should be willing to help them. If others are needy we should be willing to care for them. This virtue is desperately needed for the church life, and even for the sake of our family life. Sometimes our family life becomes the biggest frustration to helping those who are poor and needy. The American culture encourages having a good family life, yet there are so many divorces among American families. One reason for the high divorce rate in this country is because most husbands and wives are selfish. They try to enjoy each other too much and do not know how to stretch out their hands to the poor. When we practice the virtue of helping the poor and needy ones, our family life will become healthy and blessed. We should be endeavoring to meet the needs of others all the time. This is the fourth exercise of a virtuous sister. After she has the food, the land, and the lamp, she now has the supply to take care of the poor and the needy.

5th Exercise: Not Fearing Trials

The fifth and last exercise of a virtuous woman is related to the matter of trials. Very few sisters get to this stage. "She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet" (v. 21). What does it mean that she is not afraid of snow? This means that she is not afraid of trails. She is not afraid of the dark, hard, or bitter times. Why? Because her household is clothed with scarlet. Scarlet is a red color that is related to the work of Christ. Scarlet signifies something kingly. The virtuous sister is not afraid of trials, because everyone in her household is kingly. Everyone in her household has some real experiences of Christ, so she has no reason to be afraid when trials come.

To get to this fifth stage, a sister must go through the previous experiences: the food, the land, the lamp, and the care for the needy. After reaching such a stage, the virtuous sister will not be afraid when trials come. When the church goes through trials, we find out who are the ones clothed in scarlet. Some saints do not know how to go through trials and get carried away by them. But some saints are so solid and so stable. When the "snow" comes, they know how to be firm. This proves that they are clothed in scarlet. The church life will often have snow. Even our family life will sometimes have snow. How can we go through the trials that come our way? It all depends on whether we know how to put on the scarlet. It depends on how much we have of the experiences of Christ These experiences are kingly and royal experiences that give us a stand before the Lord. When we are clothed in scarlet we are not afraid of anything. But if the snow comes and we do not have scarlet, then we are in trouble. When trials come it doesn't matter how much food or land we have, because that will not protect us from the snow. But a virtuous woman, after all her previous experiences, is not afraid of the snow. She has nothing to fear, because she knows that her household is clothed with scarlet.

We have seen that a virtuous woman must have five exercises in her daily life. First, she needs to bring back food from afar as a merchant's ship, and then must rise up early to dispense the food to her house. Second, she needs to buy a piece of land so that she can apply the fruit of her hands and produce a vineyard. Third, she needs to have her loins girded and her arms exercised so that she can be a shining lamp as a testimony in the night. Fourth, she needs to work with the spindle and distaff to produce materials so that she can care for the needy ones. Finally, after all of these previous items, she must know how to put on the scarlet for herself and for her household, so that she will have no fear when the trials come. For a sister to become a virtuous woman, these five exercises should be her daily practice.

The Maturity of a Virtuous Woman

The next section from this chapter of Proverbs concerns the virtuous woman's maturity. After showing us the general principles of the virtuous woman and the healthy exercises she needs in her daily life, this chapter shows us the manifestation of maturity. This maturity only comes after much experience of what was described in the previous verses.

Becoming a Pattern

The first aspect of the virtuous woman's maturity is in verse 22: "She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple." Tapestry is fabric that is woven with a pattern or design. This means that a mature virtuous sister has a certain pattern. A pattern only comes through the work of the Holy Spirit. There are some older sisters who are rich in experiences of the Lord. When you see them, you have the feeling, "There is a pattern here." The element of Christ has been worked into them. In this whole portion of verses concerning a virtuous woman, this is the first time that she has made something for herself. "She maketh herself coverings of tapestry." After everything she has experienced she is qualified to make something for herself. Yet she doesn't purposely make it for herself. It is while she is practicing the previous five exercises that she makes herself coverings of tapestry. Furthermore, her clothing is silk and purple. The word for "silk" here can also be translated as "fine white linen." This means that her walk has become so heavenly. Her daily walk is so fine and so clean. She is a heavenly person. And because she has received the work of the Holy Spirit, she also has a rich and beautiful pattern.

Sisters, this means that you should not look down on all the things you go through. When you are going through something unpleasant, realize that the Lord is making a pattern with you. He is working Himself into you, like the pattern on a tapestry, and this process may take a long time. The best way to handle difficult experiences is to focus on the five exercises of a virtuous woman. Pay attention to getting and dispensing the food, purchasing the land and producing the vineyard, girding your loins and shining as a lamp, laboring to make material and stretching out your hand to the poor, and clothing your household with scarlet so that you are not afraid of trials. These five exercises produce a mature, spiritual, and virtuous woman. Then in that process you will give the Lord a way to make you into a pattern. You will have a rich and beautiful pattern from all your experiences of Christ, and you will have a fine, pure and heavenly living. This is the manifestation of your maturity.

Becoming a Blessing to Her Husband and Laboring to Raise Up Younger Sisters

"Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant" (v. 23-24). Because the virtuous sister is living a life of maturity, her husband is blessed. Her husband sits at the gate with the royal and kingly ones. Furthermore, the mature virtuous woman is a blessing to younger sisters. "She maketh fine linen, and sells it." This means that she labors to raise up other sisters to be like her. Some younger sisters may appreciate the living of older sisters. However, the younger sisters must still pay a price for it. The older sisters could tell the younger ones, "The reason I have fine linen is because I have paid the price for it. I have made the fine linen myself. If you want it, you must buy it. I will sell it to you, but you must pay the price." If an older sister has experienced something that is so rich, and a younger sister wants to take part in it, then that younger sister must pay the price just as the older sister has paid a price. We should realize that nothing spiritual and nothing of high virtue comes cheaply. We all must pay a price.

Using Her Mouth to Impart Life

"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness" (v. 25-26). Now the virtuous woman is finally qualified to open her mouth. She is not someone who just speaks her opinions. Instead, she opens her mouth with wisdom. After everything she has experienced, the virtuous woman surely has wisdom. Now when she opens her mouth, her words do not bring in death, like the words of the strange woman. Instead, her words become a comfort to the whole church, because in her tongue there is the law of kindness. Because of her maturity, there is kindness in her speaking. This is why the church needs mature sisters. A mature and virtuous sister is qualified to open her mouth. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. Her whole person imparts life. She imparts life not only by her hands, but also through her mouth.

This is the mature experience of the virtuous woman. Before she is mature, a sister should learn not to be opinionated, not to say too much, and not to speak too freely. Instead, she should labor to obtain the food, to buy the land, to produce the vineyard, to keep the lamp shining, to stretch out her hand to the poor, and to clothe her household with scarlet garments. Through all of these exercises the maturity of life will be produced. Then such a sister can exercise her mouth, because her words will impart life. In her maturity she will speak words of wisdom and kindness. This expression of maturity only comes after the accumulation of many experiences with the five exercises of the virtuous woman.

Exercising Her Being

"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness" (v. 27). Even now, after the virtuous woman is exercising her mouth, she is still laboring. Not only does she exercise her mouth, but she also exercises her eyes. She exercises her being. She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness. Her mouth is exercised, her eyes are exercised, and her being is exercised. In her maturity the virtuous woman is still paying a price to labor.

Receiving Praise from Her Husband and Children

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all" (v. 28-29). We would all agree that this is wonderful. What is better than the praise of your husband? Here the husband is not forced to praise his wife. The genuine praise from the husband is gained because his wife is so virtuous. "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." This means, "You are the best. You are wonderful." This praise is surely precious to his wife. This is the result of the virtuous woman's maturity.

Fearing the Lord

Verse 30 begins the concluding word of this chapter: "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised" (v. 30). This means that favor and beauty are cheap things. A virtuous woman does not pay attention to cheap things because her life is higher than this. She does not pay attention to making herself beautiful, or trying to find favor. This verse gives the secret of where the virtuous woman's exercise comes from. "But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." The virtuous woman's exercise comes from fearing the Lord. "Fearing the Lord" means having a reverential attitude towards the Lord and desiring to please Him. If a sister does not fear the Lord in such a way, it is difficult for her to have the riches and maturity of life. But if she fears the Lord her exercise will become healthy and proper. Eventually such a sister will be praised.

Receiving Praise from Her Own Works

The last verse on the virtuous woman is glorious. "Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates" (v. 31). Eventually the virtuous woman enjoys all of the fruit of her labor. In verse 30 we were told that a woman who fears the Lord will be praised, and verse 31 tells us how she will be praised. She will receive praise from her own works. Everything that she has given, everything that she has imparted, and every way that she has helped others will all come back to "praise her in the gates." Now we see the result of a virtuous woman's labor. None of her labor has been cheap. She has paid the price to gain life, dispense life, produce life, supply life, maintain a testimony of life, and even go through trials. In her maturity, she reaps the harvest. She receives praise from her husband and children, and she receives praise from all of her own works. She has become a blessing to the Lord, to her family, and to the church life. She in turn is blessed with the fruit of her labor and the praise of her own works. This is a glorious conclusion to this chapter. May the Lord inspire all of us to desire to become such a person, and may we diligently exercise until we reach such a stage of maturity.

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